


Alone

by JessieMckay



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt, Multi, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Non-Graphic Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 18:54:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 14,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25800181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JessieMckay/pseuds/JessieMckay
Summary: A successful mission till the wraith ruin there return to Atlantis
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	1. Alone

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Salchat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Salchat/gifts).



The mission had gone off without a hitch and they were heading back to the gate, a new set of allies now secured. John and Rodney were quarrelling as usual, as Ronan and Teyla laughed up ahead.

“Dial the gate Mckay, let’s get home I need a shower” said John, stretching his arms above his head lazily and looking round carefully.

“I thought there was a bad smell round here” muttered Rodney, as he began to dial the gate when it cut off and a dart flew through.

“Everyone to the trees” shouted Ronan, pulling Rodney and John into the bushes.

Teyla was already there, scouting ahead to see the direction the dart was going.

“It’s headed over the ridge but it’s coming back, back in the bushes they are taking aim and…”

There were explosions all round them, the mountain shook and then the path collapsed into the deep ravine below.

“Mckay, Sheppherd” shouted Ronan, as he threw a rope towards them, but the rubble swept them out of sight.

Ronan pulled Teyla onto a ledge, as the shaking stopped and they looked at the rockslide below them.

“We must get to the ring; we need back up” said Teyla, as they climbed the rubble

They trudged up the hill, they had lost their team and Ronan hoped they were still alive.

Far below Rodney opened his eyes; it was dark and he coughed feeling a pain in his chest.

“Colonel, are you ok?” called Rodney

No answer, as he looked round and coughed again holding his chest. He reached to his vest, undoing the top pocket velcro and pulled out his torch. Switching it on, he looked round to see nothing but rocks.

“John, John” he shouted, hearing the fear in his voice echoing round the emptiness. “Don’t panic Rodney, he is around here somewhere and is waiting to make fun when you…”

There was a movement above him, as dust fell on his head and he rolled. The ceiling collapsed where he had sat seconds earlier, as he dropped his head to the floor in relief.

He moved one arm, then the next. They were both working and his chest hurt but there was no blood. His left leg was moving but he couldn’t lift his right without agonising pain. He sat up slowly, shining the torch on his leg and lifted the trouser leg. It had a large open wound, as he grimaced and wrapped a bandage round it tightly.

He crawled along the floor, searching where he could when he heard a low moan.

“John” he said, “make a noise so I can find you.”

He followed the tapping for quite a while, till he came to a hand with a stick in.

“I am here John, oh god we are going to die”

“Mckay, what…what happened?” he asked in confusion

“We are…uh I presume we are buried under half a mountain.”

“I…I don’t remember, which planet are we on?”

“Naxon” said Rodney, “we just secured a trade agreement”

“How..?”

Rodney began moving the rubble, as he uncovered Johns legs, his head and arms. His hand touched something sticky on the floor, as he looked at his hand covered in blood. He took out his knife, cutting off Johns tac vest and seeing the branch stuck through his stomach. He ran his hand down Johns back, finding another wound.

“Stop feeling me up Mckay, that hurts”

“Don’t be an idiot, you’ve gone and got yourself skewered by a branch. If you ate more, you wouldn’t be so skinny and this wouldn’t happen. Now we are stuck under ground, in our rubble grave and we are going to die. So don’t…”

“Mckay we aren’t going to die” he said

“Optimistic, how do we know that Ronan and Teyla aren’t down here somewhere too.”

“We don’t, you need to go for help”

“What just leave you here and go, no I don’t think so”

“That’s an order” said John

“Screw your orders Colonel, I am not one of your military grunts that you can order round. I will see to you and then go look round, in that order.”

“Okay Mckay” he mumbled, as he closed his eyes. “You can play voodoo witch doctor today, though your bedside manner needs some work.”

“I am no…” he began, then stopped and shook his head. “Save your energy, you are bleeding heavily and I won’t be able to remove the branch.”

“Okay Mckay, you’re the boss”

“Yes, well I am glad you see that. Now do you hurt anywhere else?”

“No, just my side” he said, “I…”

His head flopped to the side, as he lost consciousness and Rodney looked concerned.

“Carson, why are you never here when I need you” he muttered

Ronan and Teyla paced the jumper bay, this was taking too long. There was a team getting ready to go, it included Major Lorne, Dr Beckett, Sargent Bates and Dr Zelenka.

“Let’s go” said Major Lorne, as they got in the jumper and he flew them through the stargate.

They tried to scan the area for life signs but something in the ground was preventing them from getting any signals within 10 metres from the rubble.

“Are you sure they are still alive, maybe there is no life signs because there is none to be found?” said Sargent Bates

“No one gets left behind” snarled Ronan

“I am just saying the likelihood of survival down there is…”

There was a loud bang and Dr Beckett and Dr Zelenka turned to see Ronan had Sargent Bates pinned to the wall by his neck.

“Dr Beckett take over flying” said the Major, as he went over and helped Teyla pull Ronan off the Sargent.

“We will have a good look round, no-one is getting left behind. Dr Zelenka modify the sensors and see if there is a way, to get round the interference.”

“Yes Major” he said , as he began tapping at the laptop, plugging it into the jumper and working quietly.

“Dr Beckett land down in that clearing”

“Land” he asked, “Major youse know I…”

“You can do this Doctor”

He landed, slightly bumpy but in one piece and looked pleased.

“Call that a landing” muttered Bates, leaving the jumper

“Ignore him Doc” said Ronan, “any landing you can walk away from is a good landing.”

Teyla took Dr Becketts arm, as they walked out towards the rubble that seemed to be piled up towards the sky.

“Sargent Bates mae be right Ronan, how could anyone survive this?” said Dr Beckett, sadly.


	2. Alone

Rodney had gathered what first aid supplies John had in his tac vest and tied a bandage securely round John’s side. His breathing was laboured, he hadn’t regained consciousness either.  
Rodney crawled round, trying to find some way to escape but there was no exit and he daren’t stray too far from John in case of complications.  
There was a low murmur, as Rodney crawled over and John rolled slowly.

“No John stay on your side, or you will move the branch.”

“Pull it out” he murmured

“No, I am unsure of the damage it’s caused” he said

“Have you found a way out?”

“No I have looked round quickly, though I didn’t want to go far”

“You need to go to…” began John

“No stop playing the hero, I can’t go and leave you…”

The rocks crumbled above their heads, as Rodney looked up looking anxious.

“No, no, no” he said, as he took off his jacket and hooked it under John’s arms. “Sorry, this may hurt”

Rodney pulled him, as John grunted in pain and gritted his teeth. Looking back there was now a pile of rubble and a huge dust cloud from the tunnel collapse where they had stood seconds ago.

Major Lorne and the team had been searching the rest of the day and darkness had soon stopped their efforts. They camped not too far from the puddle jumper, as Ronan and Teyla got a campfire going. Dr Zelenka looked at the computer, he was close to cutting out the interference from the mountain. They would still have to be less then three meters away from Rodney or John, for it to pick up their tracker signals.  
Carson sat staring into the fire, knowing that Rodney’s blood sugar levels would have dropped very low by now. There seemed to be no sign of them, they had either escaped and were safe or more likely injured and in dire need of his assistance.

“Doc, Doc” said the Major, shaking his arm gently

Carson looked up, to see the Major looking at him in concern.

“Yes lad, I am miles away.”

“Try get some sleep, Ronan and Teyla are taking first watch”

“Ok, though I donae thin tha is likely.”

Rodney had fallen to the floor, his head spinning and feeling sick. The wound on his leg was infected he felt hot, the enclosed space and his hypoglycaemia each causing their own problems.

“Rodney” murmured John, as he tapped his cheek and pulled himself along the floor carefully.

He reached into his pocket, pulling out a pack of sherbet and tearing off the top. He put it by Rodney’s mouth, tipping it in bit by bit and leaving it melt. Then he leant his head on Rodney’s arm, closed his eyes and drifted away into the darkness once more.  
Rodney’s arm felt dead, as he looked down to see the Colonel curled up against him. In his hand was a sherbet wrapper, as he reached round for the torch. How could he see, when he wasn’t holding the torch. The place was lit up, then he realised it was the sun lighting up the darkness. There was a huge hole in the roof, and he got up carefully, he was able to stand too. There were rocks and dirt all round them, had they caved in while he had been down.  
Obviously, John had helped him and he went over to part of the wall that looked weak. He pushed against the rocks and they fell away, as he saw they were out.

“It’s a miracle” muttered Rodney, going over to John and seeing the branch had come out.

He had been bleeding, as he wrapped another bandage on top and lifted him over his shoulders in a boost of what could only be adrenaline. He emerged into the sun and carried him along a path, for hours. It was so good to be out, he hardly noticed his injury or back starting to hurt. When he came to the river, he could hardly walk another step. He laid him down gently, stripping off his t-shirt. He lit a fire and found a piece of curved wood, as he filled it with water and balanced it over the fire. The water boiled, as he took off the bandages, took off his own shirt and tore it into strips. He began cleaning it, as John awoke sharply.

“Hey Colonel, look I got us out”

“Knew you could Mckay” he murmured, as he frowned

“What?” asked Rodney

“You should wear your t-shirts tighter, you’re not as fat as you make out.”

“I don’t know whether to be pleased or insulted at that comment” he laughed, shaking his head. “You saved me; my blood sugars must have taken a dive.”

“Lucky I had my sherbet in my pocket” he shrugged, “are you injured Mckay?”

“A small cut to my leg, I will survive. Lucky you had something other then lemon sherbet.”

“I don’t eat anything with citrus anymore” he said

Rodney moved to his back wound, cleaning it with water and removing some large bits that were still in the wound with tweezers from John’s tac vest he’d taken.

“The branch must have crumbled when I had to move you, I am sorry.”

“You did what you had to” he said, as Rodney sat him up wrapping the wound and he held onto his shoulders for support.

John was pale and shaky, this wasn’t looking good at all. 

“You’ve lost too much blood; you still are and as much as I hate to admit it, I don’t know how to stop it.”

“They will find us soon” he said, as Rodney lay him down again checking his legs and frowning.

“You told me no where else hurt, you have an open fracture to your ankle”

“I said I couldn’t feel any pain” corrected John

“You can’t feel…you can’t…Bloody hell John, you could be paralysed”

“I can’t feel my legs Rodney, I…”

“Colonel I shouldn’t of moved you, this is all my fault.”

“It’s John, Rodney listen I didn’t want you to worry about something you could do nothing about. If you hadn’t of moved me, I would have been dead.”

The rain began to fall starting as a light drizzle, minutes later poured down and Rodney lifted John over his shoulders.

“Rodney, don’t hurt yourself, you could pull me along.”

“No, not seeing I could have paralysed you already. This isn’t the first time today I have carried you, I haven’t dropped you yet.”

John laughed, as they sheltered under a huge tree and Rodney went out washing his hands and drinking a handful of water. He cupped some, taking it over to John.

“Sorry, don’t have a cup.”

John drank from his hands and he got him some more, finding the berries they had eaten here. 

“Found the berries Roja took us hunting for” he said, as they ate them and Rodney sat next to him.

“Food, drink and good company, who could ask for anything more” said John

“Think you are delirious” said Rodney, “if you count me as good company.”

“Why do you always put yourself down like that” said John

“Easily” he said, picking a leaf apart.

“I want to know so much about you , we never have chance to talk like this without interruption and now I may die…”

“You are not dying” said Rodney, stubbornly. “Besides we can talk or do anything you want, on the understanding you don’t die.”

“Good, then you won’t hold this against me”

He pulled Rodney’s lips to his in a soft gentle kiss and sat back, then pulled Rodney’s arm round him 

“John, you ok?” he asked, in concern

I am cold, so cold” he said, as he shivered

He dug in his pocket, finding a needle, tape and tube. He inserted it into his arm, hissing in pain, then joined the tube and the other needle into the other side. He couldn’t get a proper vein, as he tapped and then hoped for the best. He kept his arm raised and the blood ran down into John, as he sat by him holding him in his lap. 

“This is useless” said Sargent Bates, “we’ve checked each part and that entrance and footprints, who knows how old they were.”

“They were recent, about 2-3 hours” said Ronan, as the Major flew above with Teyla.

They got to the river 2 hours later, to see an old fire and bloodied dressings. The Major landed and Carson looked round, seeing two figures under a tree suddenly.

“There” shouted Carson, rushing over and calling for two stretchers.  
Ronan and Bates rushed off, as Radek and Carson got to them. Rodney sat against the tree, John lay in his lap. A temporary blood transfusion was running from Rodney into John, who was bleeding heavily.

“Rodney” said Carson

“Carson, you took your time” mumbled Rodney, looking up. “Doing a transfusion, John lost lots of blood.”

“It is ok now lad, let’s remove these”

He took the tube away and they went to lift John onto a stretcher, as Rodney shook his head.

“He can’t move his legs, be careful may be paralysed. He was skewered by a branch all through and an open ankle fracture.”

“Ok Rodney, relax we are here now. Are you injured?”

“A small cut to my leg, I will survive”

Rodney blacked out, as they got their patients loaded into the jumper. The Major and the Sargent sat up front, as Carson saw to John and Ronan checked Rodney’s leg.

“Doc this small cut runs from his knee to ankle, it’s anything but small.”

“From someone who complains about a splinter, he must have had other things on his mind” said Radek

Teyla flushed out the cut as instructed by Dr Beckett and rewrapped it, as Carson gave him an injection of strong antibiotics. He turned back to John, scanning him from top to toe and shaking his head.  
Rodney opened his eyes, to see the familiar white walls of the infirmary. He didn’t know how long he’d been asleep, but he was still tired. There was a tube in one arm, connected to an IV and a blood bag the other side. His leg was bandaged up and resting on a cushion, as a hand was holding his. He turned to see Elizabeth, asleep in the chair and blushed slightly.

“Elizabeth, where is John?” he asked

She sat up sharply, as she smiled up at him and pointed to the door.

“He has gone for a couple of scans; he will be back shortly. You have both been sedated for the past 12 hours, just so all your scans and tests could be done while you rested. You saved John’s life Rodney, he’d lost a huge percentage of his blood and needed a major blood transfusion. He finally levelled off a few hours ago, enough to be taken for more scans”

“We were trapped and the ceilings were coming down, I had to move him and I didn’t know he was paralysed.”

“Paralysed or dead, it’s not a hard decision” said Elisabeth.”

The door opened and Carson and Dr Biro came in, as John’s bed was pushed by his.

“John, are you awake?”

“Yup, on the good stuff right Doc” said John, grinning like an idiot

“Yes, youse both are”

“What happened to your leg, you told me it was a small cut” said John

“14 inch gash, wit over 250 stitches” said Carson, “anythin but small.”

“You shouldn’t have…you disobeyed a direct order.”

“To leave you die, yes I did” he said, smirking

“Good on you Rodney” said Elisabeth, “rest and I will come see you tomorrow.”

She patted Rodney’s shoulder, then Johns and left.

“Glad we found youse both” said Carson, as Dr Biro headed off.

Rodney and John filled in Carson on what happened, as he looked at them and shook his head. 

“Youse both were lucky to be alive, youse did really well though Rodney and ya quick thinking with the sherbet John. Sargent Bates kept saying youse both were dead and the longer it became, the more I began to believe it too.”

“It’s why they make good team” said Radek, heading over with a laptop and smiling. “I beat Kavanagh to bloody pulp with ancient artefact, I hope that’s ok Rodney?”

“You did what, you didn’t damage the artefact did you?” asked Rodney

“Rodney!” admonished Carson. “Youse are joking right Radek?”


	3. Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unexpected twist

“I can only dream Carson, maybe one day I will if he keeps interfering with my project. I am an excellent scientist, I could make it look like an accident”

“You been taking ego lessons from Rodney” laughed John, as he flinched.

“I must ask youse both to rest now, Radek was there something youse needed?” asked Carson

“I uh need to speak to you Colonel and I know I shouldn’t but…”

“Zelenka, out with it” said John, rubbing his head

“The Major has been arrested and put in the brig”

“Major Lorne is in the brig, for what?”

“He attacked Sargent Bates” said Carson, “though he wonae say why.”

“Let me talk to Bates” said John

“He is unconscious, he fell off the balcony. Some think Evan pushed him, there is not one witness. A fight broke out in the hallway, it moved out onto the balcony and then Bates tumbled off. No one saw how he landed, he doesn’t have many injuries either. Evan was seen looking over and they found him knelt on the floor, looking distant. He hasn’t spoke or given anyone eye contact since. It was a 20ft balcony, not high enough to do severe damage he should wake up.”

“I must go speak to Evan or bring him here, we need to talk.”

Half hour later Evan was brought in by Carson and he saluted, then kept his eyes down at the floor.

“Major tell me what happened, I can help. This is not like you, to go round attacking your colleagues.”

“I lost it, he was saying some mean things and I just lashed out. He wasn’t very easy to get on with during the rescue, you can ask Dr Beckett.”

“He was acting off” said Carson

“We arrived back after mission and you both were whisked away, I had my post mission check and headed off towards my room. I showered and headed to the canteen, when I heard Bates talking to a couple of his group and I stopped. They said…”

He stopped, shaking his head.

“If they were planning something or doing something wrong…” began Rodney

“No, they were just being disrespectful Dr Mckay. They said it was obvious the two of you were faggots and we should have left you die on that planet. That you Colonel were a disgrace to the military and was never fit to lead, that you killed Sumner to get the post.”

“Really and what happened then.”

“His friends seemed to disappear and I went to go, when Bates saw me. Said I should crawl back up your arse where I belonged and then he swung at me. I can hold my own against him, he knows it and so does everyone else. We ended up on the balcony and I pushed him, when I was hit from behind by someone. I looked up and he was on the floor, below the balcony lying still. I…I could have killed him.”

“Carson you say there is hardly any injury, why is he unconscious?” asked Rodney.

“A knock to the head, under the hair where I canae see. The scan was clear too, it’s a tad unusual.”

“Take a blood sample, scan it for anything unusual” said Rodney

Carson turned and went to do it, as John and Evan looked at Rodney in confusion.

“I think I know what happened and it wasn’t your fault Major.”

Carson returned with the results and Dr Weir was called, as she looked over at Evan surprised.

“Why are you in here Major?” she asked

“I brought him here” said Carson, “he’s been set up. There is a sedative in Sargent Bates blood, he is asleep nae unconscious.”

“Time for a set up of our own” said Rodney, taking the computer Radek had left him and making a recording.

“Who are the Sargent’s friends?” asked John

“The two that were with him, were Morris and Rogers and Sikes and Williams is usually not too far away” said Evan

“Ok here is what we do, we message the 4 men pretending to be Bates, telling them we need to get rid of us tonight. Fake an incident to get Carson out of here and then they will move in. They will probably take us both somewhere and dispose of us, so have a couple of teams on stand by. Carson you must sedate Bates, then pretend to be him at the end of the pier” said Rodney.

The plan went ahead, John was sat in a wheelchair playing cards with Rodney who was in one too.

“Be careful” said Carson, as he rushed out and minutes later the door burst open.

The 4 marines burst in, two of them holding guns and they pointed them at John and Rodney.

“What are you doing in here?” demanded John

“Taking out the trash” said Sikes, “make a noise and we shoot you where you stand or should I say sit.”

“Very funny” said Rodney, “so why exactly are you doing this?”

“You both had it coming, pair of faggots.”

“Jeepers can’t two guys be friends, without you military grunts thinking with your…”

“Finish that sentence and you can die here Mckay” said Morris, sharply

“Where is Bates” demanded John, “aren’t you his group?”

“Let’s go, you will see him soon. There are plans, have been for a while now.”

“Plans, what plans?” asked Rodney

“Never mind, they won’t affect you.”

They were wheeled through the corridor, towards the chosen pier.

Carson paced nervously, a hat pulled down low over his face and a soldier’s uniform on.

“Sargent, we have them” said a voice, as he watched them heading towards him out the corner of his eye.

He turned looking at the ocean and held the gun in front of him, as they stopped. He turned round, shooting the two men in the knee that held the guns. They fell to the floor and they were all surrounded and arrested by Ronan, Teyla, Evan, Radek and Elizabeth.

“So, is this it?” asked Dr Weir. “Were you the only ones, involved in setting up Major Lorne?”

Carson pulled off the hat, as the four men wouldn’t answer and were handcuffed and led back inside.

“You will get what’s coming for you Beckett, mark my words” snapped Sikes

“What do you mean?” asked Dr Weir

“You will see, you’ve stopped nothing we were a mere distraction.”

John and Rodney were taken back to the ward and Carson went to check Bates, in the private room. He opened the door, to see the bed was empty and went to touch his radio.

“I wouldn’t do that Doc” said a voice, as something cold touched his neck.”

“Sargent this is all over, ya men are in the brig.”

“Guess it's good they are not part of my plan” he said, grabbing him by the arm and he yelped and pulling him from the room.

“Hey Carson, is he awake yet?” asked John, as he turned and froze

“Yes Colonel I am awake and I hear I now have nothing to lose, so the Doc is coming for a walk with me.”

“Leave him go you won't get far” said Rodney, as he looked over at Carson nervously.

“No I don’t think so, he’s my ticket out of here and we will be allowed to leave or i begin to do some damage.”

Bates tightened his grip, twisting his wrist and Carson closed his eyes grimacing. He was pulled along the corridor roughly and towards the jumper bay. He nearly tripped twice, as he stopped sharply and tried to get loose. Bates slammed him against the wall, striking him and leaving him fall to the floor.

“Don’t try that again Beckett, you will get in the jumper and take me to the mainland.”

“I donae think so Sargent, youse tried to get Evan in trouble why?”

“That boy should not be second in command, I should be. He will take over here if, if the Colonel is unable to.”

“So youse thought youse would get rid of both, ya make me sick Sargent.”

Carson was yanked off the floor, as a fist connected with his stomach and he bent over in pain. He was dragged into the jumper and chucked into the chair, as there were running footsteps.

“Close the door Doctor, or I shoot the first person I see”

Carson closed the door and flew the jumper out the jumper bay, he wouldn’t leave Bates get to the mainland.

“Jumper 3, you must land” said a voice, though the radio

“No, I don’t think so” said Bates, switching on the video and holding the knife threateningly.

“Leave him go Sargent” said Dr Weir, “we can talk.”

“It’s past the time for talking” said Bates, as Carson closed his eyes and the jumper began to dive.

“Get back on track, or I blow up Atlantis. There is a bomb and only I have the control” he said, taking it out.

Carson levelled it off, as the jumper reached the mainland and he landed. Bates tied up his wrists and chucked him to the floor, as he pulled a bag and put in supplies.

“Now what about that bomb?” asked Carson

"It was a bluff" he said"

Carson scowled, he was so trusting

“I am expecting a visitor to the mainland, I would not come here with no plan. I didn’t choose you for no reason, your work is of value and I hand you over and I will be offered a place in his services.”

“Whose services?” demanded Carson.

“Commander Kolya’s of course.”

John and Rodney sat in the infirmary and were getting agitated, there had been no news. They decided to make a break and got into wheelchairs, as they left the room. Once at the control room, they saw Dr Weir and Radek looking tense.

“What is happening?” asked Rodney

“Bates took Carson to the mainland, though there is another ship approaching Atlantis. It looks like a hive ship, a wraith carrier just went to the site of the jumper but they are leaving now.”

“Dr Weir I am at the site of the other jumper, Dr Beckett is gone and Sargent Bates has been killed. There is a note on a knife, buried in his chest” said Major Lorne

“What does it say?” asked John

“It says your move Sheppherd, Koyla.”


	4. Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carson is kidnapped

Carson lay on his side, where he had been pushed roughly and he tried to get comfortable. He winced, yelping in pain, as there were footstep and he was yanked to his feet. The ropes were cut, as two wraith held him tightly.

“No stop, please don’t kill me” he murmured

“You find that saying please to a hungry wraith, doesn’t make a slight bit of difference” said a familiar voice.

“Kolya” said Carson, stilling and a figure stepped forward.

“Dr Beckett, welcome to my hive ship”

“Your hive ship” he asked in confusion

“Yes I promised them I knew a Doctor who could turn them human, though I needed their ship to snatch you.”

“Well you will have to disappoint them because I won’t work for you or them.”

“I won’t harm you much Doctor, cause you are too valuable though don’t push me because I have my ways”

“No. i donae cave in to threats” said Carson

Kolya struck him across the face, as he hung in the wraiths hold.

“Now Dr Beckett, will you last as long as Dr Mckay” as he took out a knife  
He pulled back from Kolya, as they pinned him against the wall

“Now will you help me or do we need some persuasion”

“Never Kolya” he snapped, as the knife moved towards his arm.

“I am so worried” said Dr Weir, “what sort of wraith stabs someone instead of feeding on them.”

“It’s not a wraith” said Evan, coming in and rubbing his hand.

“What do you mean?” asked John, as he looked over from the wheelchair. 

“I talked to Rogers, told him what happened to Bates and he blabbed. It wasn’t just wraith on that hive, it was Kolya too.”

“Knew this was not a simple wraith attack, it had Kolya’s edge to the plan.”

“Oh no” mumbled Rodney, standing up carefully and looked out the window. 

He took up his crutches and left the room, sitting at the computer and doing a long distant scan. Working quietly, he saw the direction they were going and looked at the possible planets.

“Dr Weir, I have a possible planet to check. It has a stargate, I will get the address.”

“Major Lorne, take Ronan, Teyla and Sargent Stackhouse. Go check out the planet but no heroics, if you find them call for back up. You are there to observe and calculate numbers, it’s not a rescue mission yet.”

“I feel so useless” muttered John, as Rodney nodded and they headed to the canteen.

“Is it true?” asked Radek, rushing over with Dr Biro

“We have a planet to check, well obviously not us but…” began John

“You two should be in the infirmary” said Dr Biro

“Dr Biro can we stay in our quarters, please” said John

“Well, if you promised to rest. No running round Atlantis working” she said, looking pointedly at Rodney

“Ok, I have got the new Star Trek I want to watch”

“Count me in” said John

Carson was glad they had released his arms, his shoulder hurt. Although he had been trembling inside, he had tried to keep calm. Biting his lip till it bled, as Kolya had cut into his arm. Though he hadn’t been able to keep the cries of pain in for long, as he ran the knife over the same cut three times.  
He had been let go quickly after, as he had slid down the wall. Clutching his damaged arm to him, he saw Kolya watching him and the tears dripped down his cheeks once the wraith had left.

“I do believe Dr Mckay lasted longer” he said, crouching in front of Carson and running a hand through his hair.

He grabbed a handful and yanked his head back, as he looked down at him amused.

“I take it you will do as I say now” he said

“Go to hell Kolya, youse donae scare me” he spat angrily

“You are a lot more stubborn” he said, as he got on the radio.

“Yes bring them in” he said, as 3 wraith came in with a young girl

She looked petrified, as Carson looked at Kolya in horror.

“Now Carson, what were you telling me?” he asked

“I will do it” he said, “just leave the lass alone”

“Ok take her” he said to the wraith, as it plunged its hand onto her chest and began feeding. 

Carson jumped to his feet, as Kolya held him back and the girl fell to her knees slowly. A look of agony on her face, as she sobbed and then it stopped. The wraith dropped her fragile body to the floor, as he scrambled over.

“No, no, no damn youse” he shouted angrily, as he felt a faint heartbeat.

He was not able to save her, as she died in his arms and it was all his fault.

“The same will happen tomorrow too, if you refuse me again” said Kolya

They turned and left, as the body was dragged out. He lay on the floor, trembling and shaking uncontrollably

“Someone help mae” he murmured, as he closed his eyes.


	5. Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nightmares and discoveries

Rodney sat up in bed, he had nightmares and a bad feeling that he couldn’t shake. Something had happened, something that would break Carson and Rodney knew he’d cave to Kolya’s wishes.

“John” said Rodney, over the radio

“Mckay it’s 2 o clock in the morning, you should be asleep.”

“Can I come round, I need to talk to someone about a bad feeling.”

“Ok, though don’t get caught or Dr Biro will have us back in the infirmary.”

He arrived 10 minutes later, a bag over his shoulder with snacks and his tablet in.

“He is hurting John; I know he will cave to Kolya and I can’t even help him damn it.”

“Give him credit Rodney, Carson is stronger than he looks.”

“Yes but he is easy to manipulate, he may not care what happens to himself but if they threaten someone else’s life…” began Rodney

“…they will use Carson’s compassion against him” John finished

Carson was dragged down the corridor and taken into a room, where Kolya stood. He was pushed into a chair, as he came over and looked at his arm. Kolya clipped cuffs over his wrists and Carson looked anywhere but at him, when he felt the wound being washed and stitched closed. He closed his eyes flinching, this was really bad

“Not a bad job, what do you think Doc” he said

Carson looked down, as he saw a row of neat stitches.

“I ave seen worse” he snapped

Kolya grabbed his chin, lifting his head so he had no choice but to look at him.

“Keep your stubbornness under control, or you will watch another person be killed because of your bad decisions.”

Carson grimaced, as he looked at the floor. The cuffs were undone, as some bowls of food were carried in and the wraith left.

“Eat up Dr Beckett, today you start your work.”

“I need mae research” he said

“Sargent Bates was kind enough to get us a copy, its all in the lab waiting for you. Besides this is temporary, we shall be moving onto a planet soon. All these wraith round, they give me the creeps.”

“Why because ya more of a monster, then they will ever be. They feed to live, youse kill because youse are a…”

Kolya stood looming over him, a knife in his hand. He’d been hauled to his feet and slammed into the wall, Kolya looked murderous. The knife pushed against his throat, as he closed his eyes and Major Lorne’s last few conversations flashed through his head and images of his home.

“You are trying to get me to kill you Dr Beckett” said Kolya’s puzzled voice. “You really are a genius, exactly like Dr Mckay.”

Carson leant against the wall, so much for that mad idea.

“There is more then one way to skin a Tanas” he said, stroking his cheek and Carson flinched. “Well, well Dr Beckett, I think I just found yours.”


	6. Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the queen and a promise

John and Rodney woke up the next morning, surrounded by snack wrappers and water bottles. Rodney had rechecked the routes, finding another six possibilities if they were stopping at a planet.

“So your sure they won’t just stay on the hive ship?” asked John

“They would have to go to a planet, a hive ship won’t have what they need to do these experiments and the work” said Rodney.  
There was a ring on the door, as John opened it with his gene and Dr Biro came in. 

“Ok I wasn’t expecting to find you both here, I need to do checks.”

“That is fine we are resting” said John, “just talking and brainstorming.”

“We are not much good otherwise” said Rodney, annoyance clear in his voice

“You have no choice, though you can do your part here and get better quickly. Major Lorne is quite able Colonel, he will get Dr Beckett back.”

“I hope it won’t be too late, Kolya is an evil and manipulative man” said John

Meanwhile back on the hive ship Carson didn’t know how to deal with this man, clearing he was bloody insane. He eyed him suspiciously, as the man gestured round a small lab as if it was a work of art.  
He went over to the computer and loaded up the information, they had a computer from Atlantis. He flicked through and then looked round the room, at the basic set up.

“I will need to get to the planet before I start work, this stuff is too primitive for what I need.”

“We should be there shortly, maybe you should come meet the leader of this ship.”

Carson followed Kolya closely, the wraiths interest in him was disturbing and one was bad enough but there were 100’s.

“Queen, this is Dr Beckett” said Kolya, once they stopped in a large room

“Our Salvation” she purred, coming over and walking round him in interest. “You will be able to do this human, you are sure?”

“I have yet to make the effect permanent and I have to complete a couple more tests, I am close.”

She tipped her head to the side, taking his chin and shaking her head.

“Your friends won’t be able to save you Dr Beckett, you better deliver or I will kill you myself.”

“I assure you he will deliver” said Kolya

“You better be sure, or your life will be forfeit too Commander.”


	7. Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i love him but i can't

John had never seen Rodney look so upset and so quiet, even when they had been buried alive in that avalanche. That had seemed a lifetime ago but still only days had passed. They sat playing a shooting game on the games console, when there was a knock on the door and Major Lorne stood there.

“Permission to enter sir” he said

“Yes come in Evan and I am not on duty, so call me John.”

“Yes Sir…uh John. Dr Biro said you were both camped out here, so I brought dinner. “

He opened a bag and put two containers of soup on the table, bread, butter and pots of chocolate pudding and blue jelly. He put the cutlery by it and then looked awkward all of a sudden, as John frowned. 

“I must ask you both something and it doesn’t bother me, I just need to tell you.”  
“Tell us what?” asked John

“Are you two together?” he asked, a blush spreading across his face.

“No, why would you ask?” mumbled Rodney

“In the infirmary I was sat with you Dr Mckay while you were sedated, while Dr Beckett had taken John in to theatre. You said a few things to me, kept calling me John. Then you told me you loved me, well loved John and it was love at first sight.”

“That’s nice Mckay” mused John, as Rodney blushed

“I have no control what I say in my sleep” he argued.

“It’s just if you two were together, then maybe they would bring DADT in quicker.”

“Why would..?” began John, as he looked at Evan who was a deep shade of red. “Oh right, I didn’t realise Evan. Is it another marine or someone else?”

“It’s not a marine” he said

“I will tell no-one else, you have my word” said John

“Mine too” said Rodney, as he thanked them and turned to go.

“We check the planet in a couple of hours, I will come round and fill you in when we get back.”

“Thank you Major” said John, as he left

“Well, well, well” said Rodney, “I always had my suspicions about him”

“Love at first sight” teased John

Rodney looked over assessing his reaction, then he leant over to John and kissed him. A soft gentle kiss, that took his breath away and Rodney pulled back. 

“That was better then your dying kiss on the planet” said Rodney.

“10 times better” agreed John, pulling him back into a kiss again and wincing. 

“Hey fly boy relax, I am sure that’s one of the activities on the witch doctors not allowed list”

“Hm dinner, I am starving”

They ate hungrily, as Rodney walked carefully round the room without the crutches.

“Should you be doing that?” asked John

“I am allowed to now, unless it causes a lot of pain. Maybe I can take you for a push round after, what do you think?”

“Sounds good, what I really would like would be a run.”

“I am not running” smirked Rodney

“Ok not until your leg is healed and I will still be a cripple", his voice cracking slightly

Rodney stopped at the door, as he looked at the floor and then fled the room.  
Carson had been transported to a planet by a wraith transporter and looked round in amazement. The lab was huge, the equipment was top of the range and he knew this would be doable now.

“Do you have everything you need now Dr Beckett, or do you need another display like yesterday.”

“No, I be managing fine” he muttered, as Kolya turned and left.

He began his work, working carefully and going over to one of the wraith.

“I need a sample of cells” he said, “if i am to do my work.”

“We were told you would” said the wraith, holding out its arm and he took a blood and skin sample.


	8. Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Punishment and Plans

Rodney had avoided John the rest of the day, he couldn’t deal with the thought of him never being able to walk again. He sat on the pier, chucking the peanut shells into the water. He lay his head in his arms and wiped away the tears that escaped from his eyes. 

“Dr Mckay, can I talk to you?” asked a voice, as he wiped his eyes with his hand quickly 

“Yes Major” he said, “how did the mission go?”

“Uneventful, the planet held a primitive tribe. No buildings and they hid from us most the time, Teyla communicated with one of them briefly.”

“I have a list of planets and addresses, the Dedalus is on it’s way too to join the search. I am worried that…”

He stopped, looking sideways at the Major who was holding the bar and looking angry.

“Major are you ok?”

“No I am not, I am here to protect the Atlantis staff and I failed Dr Beckett.”

“No-one could have known, besides it wasn’t no one’s fault but Bates and he got what was coming to him” said Rodney

“I knew he was acting off on the mission, then he framed me and we all fell for the distraction. He took Carson from right under our noses, passing him onto our greatest rival.”

“We’ll get him back Evan” said Rodney, as he looked up at him and he was shocked to see two tears slide down his cheeks.

“I…” he turned to go and Rodney pulled him in a hug.

He was expecting Evan to pull away, or maybe punch him but then he hugged him tightly back.

“Try not to crush me” murmured Rodney

“Let’s keep what you saw between us” said Evan, wiping his face with his sleeve

“Of course” said Rodney, “I am here if you need to talk”

“You aren’t as mean as you make out to be” said Evan, thank you Rodney…I mean Dr Mckay.”

“It’s ok Evan” he said, “you can call me Rodney. Now you can help me with something, how can I deal with John’s injury. What if it’s permanent, he calls himself a cripple and it annoys me.”

For three days Carson worked with minimal sleep and Kolya was permanently looking over his shoulder. It was distracting and making him jumpy, as he turned, dropping what was in his hands

“Get oot of here Commander, I’ve jus ruined 3 days of work.”

“Dr Beckett, don’t forget who you are speaking too” he snapped

“I bloody know who you are, you insane controlling psychopath. I donae work quicker, with you hanging over my shoulder like a bloody bad memory.”

Kolya lifted an eyebrow, as Carson realised he may have gone too far.

“I don’t appreciate your tone Dr Beckett” he said, slamming him into the wall and putting a hand round his neck.

He squeezed slightly, as Carson squeaked in fright.

“I…I am…” began Carson

“No I think you have forgotten your place Dr Beckett” he said, leaning forward and punching him in the ribs sharply.

He let go of his throat, as the punch connected and he watched the Dr lean against the wall trying to catch his breath.  
Kolya pulled him into the back room, that was connected to the lab. There was a bed and he chucked him onto it. He clipped his ankle onto the chain, that was long enough to venture into the lab to work. It was attached to the base of the bed and he turned to leave. 

“Your privileges have been revoked; you shall be treated like a prisoner until you learn to respect my authority here. You have 48 hours to figure this out or I will hurt you Dr Beckett.”

“Kill me now then” he said

“Kill you, why would I do that” he said coming over, as he hauled him to his feet and backed him into a wall. “I told you I found the way to control you earlier, with that reference to the Tanas. I can’t hurt you or you won’t be able to work and killing in front of you, may drive that genius brain to insanity. So I will try something different Doctor, it’s been a while since anyone has made me feel this way.”

“What..?” began Carson, when a pair of lips touched his and a hand ran through his hair.

He froze shocked, then he realised what was happening and he punched the Kolya to the floor.

“Wha the hell Kolya youse playin at?” he shouted 

“Now you will pay for that” he snarled, as he got up and pulled off his belt one handed

John had found Rodney a couple of days later, sitting in the canteen. He walked with a slight limp but overall he was looking a lot better. They had checked six planets and no sign of Dr Beckett anywhere. Rodney was joining Lorne on one of the missions today, it was only in the jumper. John couldn’t help but feel jealous, he wanted to go too.

“Major keep an eye on Mckay and take a couple of extra power bars” he said, as he received the report

“Of course Colonel, how do you feel.”

“Alright, I need to get into the air”

“Once back maybe I can take you for a ride in the jumper”

“Sounds good, count me in.”

Carson lay on the bed, flinching in pain as he rolled onto his back. Not only was he hurting, he was also tired. The last two days, he had squeezed in three days of work. He was so close but he still wasn’t getting the results he needed. It didn’t help that Kolya came in regularly, to beat him if he talked back or tried to kiss him and get him to bed  
He had tried to stop him, though when he resisted and he got beaten harder and longer. Kolya was getting impatient, though he’d endure a beating over getting physical with Kolya any day. The thought made him feel sick, where was everyone and why hadn’t they rescued him yet.  
There was a load of footsteps and he looked up, to see Kolya, the wraith Queen and two of her guards enter the room.

“Dr Beckett, how are we progressing?” she asked

“I would progress a lot faster without interruptions” he said, standing up and she looked amused

“Seize him” she said to her guards, as he was held against the wall and she went over. “The commander told me you were being disobedient Doctor, I think I need to show you how serious we are."

Next second her hand was on his chest, a pain like no other ripping through him. His life was flashing before his eyes, as he felt everything he was being pulled away. It was excruciating, as he heard screaming and realised it was him. He sunk to the floor as they let him go and his vision blurred as darkness took him. 

“Atlantis this is Dr Mckay, we have found various caves and structures showing up in the scan. Around 100 people inside, this must be them. There is a hive ship in orbit the other side of the planet and Carson’s tracker is active. There is a space gate, none on the planet which has us at a disadvantage. We are going down to take a look, we will report in an hour if we can."

“I have a plan” said the Major, looking at Ronan, Teyla and Rodney

“Let’s hear it” said Rodney

“We won’t take this place by force; we need to go undercover.”

“There are people outside, we need to take their places and get inside” said Rodney

They landed on the planet and sat in the jumper, in cloak and looked at the sight before them. Genii and wraith working together, it was an unsettling sight. They took down one of the guards and the Major dressed in the clothes. 

“Ok how do I look?” asked Evan

“Come here” said Ronan, as he picked up a load or the dusty ground and chucked it over his head.

“Ronan what are..?” began Evan

“You looked too clean” he said, shrugging.

He held the gun and headed in, as the others waited nervously in the bushes. 

“They are an hour overdo” said Dr Weir, as she paced nervously

“They were going to land on the planet and check things out” said Radek, “maybe they are just observing quietly.”

“That would be the day the off world teams did as they were told, the Dedalus is nearly there too” said Dr Weir  
Major Lorne returned at dark and circled, going into the bushes.

“We nearly gave up, what took so long?” asked Rodney, anxiously

“It’s a huge place, we could get lost easily. I heard the wraith talking about a doctor being held in the North part of the  
installation, so over there. Most of it’s above the ground, I need to search there but it’s highly guarded.”

“You need a reason to go that way” said Rodney, taking the cuffs from Evan’s belt and clipping them on his own wrists.

“Rodney this is…” began Evan

“...the only way, tell Kolya you found me by a crashed jumper” finished Rodney

Rodney is this a good idea?” asked Teyla

“The Dedalus is on the way, I will find a way to get to the surface with Carson and you be ready to pick us up. The hive is still in orbit, it needs to be destroyed once the Dedalus gets here.”

“Let’s go” said Evan, as they headed off towards the north part of the structure


	9. Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unexpected visitor

Carson sat on the floor, his head in his hands and running his hands through his hair. He was not sleeping well, irritable and trouble concentrating on the simplest of things. He’d found the solution to the wraith problem, he had even tested the formula and so far all was well. He drank the water, leaving the food on the plate he’d been left. He checked the sample again, as he put it away and the door opened.   
The Queen came in, as he was too tired to be sharp or argue.

“It is all finished” he said sliding to the floor, “I canae do much more” 

“You’ve done what you need Dr Beckett, we have just caught someone trying to rescue you. His skills the commander tells me will be invaluable, to our next stage of the plan.”

The door opened and someone was pushed in, wearing handcuffs and looking anxious. Kolya followed, smirking darkly, as the queen left with her guards.

“Carson, oh my god your alive” said a voice, rushing over and checking his pulse.

“Rodney” murmured Carson, as he grimaced and leant heavily against the wall

“What did you do to him you bloody monster?”

“Not much yet” he said, “as long as you cooperate he stays alive.”

“You leave him alone Kolya, what do you want this time? Rockets, bombs, c4.”

You have till morning Dr Mckay, then we get to work.”

Kolya left, as Rodney watched Carson dissolve into a quivering mess and he helped lift him to his feet.

“It’s ok Carson, we have a plan” he murmured, getting him to the bed in the next room.

He laid him down, as he looked at the chain and went back to the lab. He found a sharp tool, unlocking the chain and working on the handcuffs as they popped open too.  
He lay by him, watching him fall into a troubled sleep and soon joined him.  
Evan got back to the others, as they went to the jumper and waited. They got a message from the Dedalus late that evening, to say the hive was destroyed and the ship was on standby. The jumper went to the Dedalus and docked, as they talked to Colonel Caldwell.

“Where is the insufferable Dr Mckay?” he said, looking at the three of them.

“He said that tomorrow he would be above ground with Carson, to be ready to rescue them.”

“He’s doing the rescue?” he asked, in surprise

“He was the only one Kolya would not kill straight away” said Evan, “Rodney…I mean Dr Mckay volunteered.”

They opened the stargate and communicated with Atlantis, as another jumper docked and John came through being pushed in the wheelchair with the rest of Major Lorne’s team.

“Colonel” said the Major, “why are you here?”

“What were you thinking sending Mckay in for the mission?” demanded John

“He volunteered and he can deal with Kolya, it…”

“Hello, come in Major” said Rodney’s voice over the radio

“Dr Mckay you ok, what’s happening?” asked Evan

“I have found Dr Beckett; he is alive and just about conscious. Extreme sleep deprivation, nasty arm wound and signs of physical and emotional torture. We will be in the topmost section of the north tower tomorrow, be cloaked and ready to move in 15 hours."

“Be careful Mckay” said Evan, as he clicked off the radio.

“I will fly tomorrow, I am the best pilot here” said John

“Yes agreed” said the Major, as they all settled down to rest before tomorrows mission.


	10. Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carson's attacked  
> (non detailed rape and violence)

Carson awoke lashing out and screaming, as Rodney held him tightly till he collapsed in a exhausted mess. He lifted his t-shirt off his back, seeing bruising and cuts to his back. Obviously he had been beaten and there was bruising round his wrists too, so he’d been restrained. The cut to his arm was deep but the stitches were neat and not infected, as Rodney felt angry. How could someone do this, to someone like Carson? The kind hearted doctor wouldn’t hurt a fly, it wasn’t fair. The ankle that had the chain on, had deep cuts to where it had dug in. Rodney cleaned it and then held him gently and closed his eyes again.  
Rodney awoke to hear a low whimper and Carson trying to get loose, from his hold.

“It’s ok Carson” he said, letting go as he scrambled off the bed and backed away.

“Rodney I thought I was going to wake up and you not…not be here” he stuttered

“I am really here, shall I complain about something so you know it’s real.”

Carson looked at him blankly, not a hint of a smile on his face and looked round.

“Where is the rescue party?” he asked, nervously

“We must get to the highest tower in the next 3 hours, undetected.”

“Not possible” he said, “we are trapped in here”

The door opened and Carson backed away from the door, as Kolya stepped in.

“Good morning “ he said, as he held out a roll of paper to Rodney

“A rocket” he said, to disperse Carson’s wraith changing formula.”

“Can you make it” he said

“Of course I can, give me three hours and then we need to test it from a high tower.”

“There is one above the labs here, get to work and I will get the queen to join us too for the presentation.”

He gestured for Rodney to head out, as Carson followed and he came last. Rodney turned back, to see  
Kolya take hold of Carson’s wrist.

“He stays with me or I don’t do this” he said

“You will, refuse and he gets hurt. Now Dr Beckett, I expected better from you though. Your chain unlocked, his handcuffs surely you told him he had to behave here right.”

“Drop dead” snarled Carson, as he felt the strike across his cheek.

Rodney stepped forward angrily but Carson was pulled in front of Kolya, a knife to his throat.

“Things are different here and I don’t know how much Dr Beckett has told you. You will do what you are told, when you are told to do it. If not you will be punished, however I see fit.”

“Rodney don’t make trouble” said Carson, as Kolya stroked his hair gently and he flinched.

“Come with me Dr Beckett, you have kept me waiting long enough.”

“No” said Carson, looking suddenly anxious.

Kolya spoke on the radio, as 4 of his guards came in.

“Take Dr Beckett across the hall to my quarters” as he fought them and was pulled from the room.

Rodney had tried to help but was held back by the two guards, as he yanked against them angrily.

“I’ll kill you Kolya” shouted Rodney, as he left the room.

He radioed the Major from the bathroom, this was getting out of control.

“We need to bring up the timeline, we need to get out of here” said Rodney

“How can we boost the tracker signal?” asked Major Lorne

“Get Radek, tell him to bring the booster from my office, it’s experimental but it may just work. Be ready in an hour, I will get us as high as possible and shoot any of these arseholes that get in your way.”

“Rodney what is happening?” whispered Evan quietly

“I believe Kolya plans to rape Carson.”

The major flopped onto a chair, as he dialled up the stargate and demanded that Zelenka and the booster be sent to them immediately.

“What is going on?” asked John, as he wheeled over.

“Kolya is going to hurt Carson, we have to get him out in the next hour.”

Carson backed away as Kolya stepped into the room, as the guards left.

“Don’t do this Commander, please don’t…”

“Shush Doctor Beckett, you’ve had this coming these past few day.”

“I…I did as you asked…please I…”

Kolya got over, stroking the hair off his face and he backed into the wall.

“No escape, you really prefer I beat you again rather than make love to you” said Kolya

“You are a killer” mumbled Carson

“I am a man, who knows what I want and takes it.”

He pulled off Carson’s t-shirt, running his hands over his chest and to the button on his trousers. He flicked it open, as they slid to the floor 

“Please…” begged Carson, as he grinned and took out his knife

“In the bed Dr Beckett and take off your shoes and trousers.”

He sat down, doing as he was told and feeling Kolya’s eyes on him. He grimaced, there was no way to escape this.

He heard Kolya do the same, as he slid next to him and pinned him to the bed straddling him.

“So beautiful” he said, tying his arms to the restraints on the headboard and Carson closed his eyes.

Rodney had made many small explosives and the two guards watched him like a hawk. He went into the next room, as he waited and one came over. He smacked him over the head with a heavy weight and lay him on the bed. The other came over and he went to do the same, as he caught him off guard.  
Rodney scrambled back, as the man got two punches off into his ribs and he kneed him. He fell to the floor, as he knocked him out.  
Rodney ran to the door, overriding the door code and rolling a device over to the wraith outside. The explosion was larger then intended but did the job and he used the tracker, to head in the direction of Carson. He held the gun he had taken from the man and hoped he met no-one else, he had to take care of Kolya too. He would not escape again, his death would be painful depending on how much Kolya had hurt Carson.  
He slid into a room, to hear low sobbing and a shower running in a room next door. He crept over, to see blood and Carson laid in the bed in a foetal position.

“Hey, where is Kolya?” said Rodney

Carson didn’t react, this was not a good sign. He went next door and shot Kolya in the stomach, as he stepped from the shower.

“You bloody monster, how could you?” he snarled.

“Easy Dr Mckay” he laughed

Rodney picked up the bottle stand, as he hit him over and over again with it. The blood flew everywhere, as he washed his hands and headed out.  
The jumper hovered above the tower, the two figures heading their way were Carson and Rodney. Alarms were going off but no-one was coming this way. Evan paced the jumper, Radek kept an eye on the LSD and Ronan and Teyla stood on guard. They’d landed on the roof, the door opened and Rodney carried someone wrapped in a blanket into the jumper. The person was shaking, trembling and sobbing weakly.

“Is he..?” began the Major

“Alive yes, alright no.” said Rodney

Carson was laid on a stretcher, as Rodney called for a sedative and Radek passed him one. He injected it carefully into Carson’s arm, keeping him wrapped up till he was asleep.

“Does anyone have a power bar?” he murmured

He was passed one and they flew back towards the Dedalus, as he sat by Carson on the floor and the Major joined him.

“How bad was it?” asked Evan

“Very” said Rodney, as medical rushed Carson away and Dr Biro had been called to take care of him on the Dedalus.

“You are covered in blood” said Colonel Caldwell

“I killed Kolya” he said

“You killed Kolya” said John, looking worried

“I shot him in the stomach and beat him up with a bottle stand. The blood was everywhere, though I don’t feel guilty.”

Ok off to the showers” said Colonel Caldwell, “nurse please escort Dr Mckay and get him checked over as well.”

He was led off, as John, Evan, Radek and Colonel Caldwell sat in silence.


	11. Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst and hurt

John flew the jumper with the other team back through the stargate, as Rodney flew through the next one with Dr Biro, Evan, Ronan and Telya.  
They got back through the gate and Carson was rushed off, as Evan headed onto the pier and was sick over the railings. He collapsed to his knees, tears pouring down his face and Rodney approached in confusion.

“Evan” he said, crouching beside him

“You are in love with Carson” said a voice, as John wheeled over and he tried to hide his face

“I am sorry Sir I…I am not…” he began

“Evan it is ok, Carson is very lovable” said Rodney

“Even more then me Mckay” whined John

“Much more” said Rodney, pulling Evan to his feet and leading him down the pier.

“Where are we going?” asked Evan, wiping his eyes

“To see Carson, he will need to see a friendly face on waking and I need to go report to Dr Weir. Get my arse kicked probably, for killing Kolya” said Rodney

“You made him suffer” said Evan

“He suffered” said Rodney, “I promise you Evan.”

Thank you” he said, as Rodney and John headed to the office and Evan went into the infirmary. 

Carson lay in a bed, no top on but his whole torso was wrapped in a white bandage. There was a dressing over the middle of his chest and a patchwork of bruises and cuts to his arms and face. His wrists had deep bruises from restraints and he moaned in his sleep.  
Evan sat by him, looking at him sadly but not touching him. He would be here for him, in any compacity he needed and would hide his feelings, if it meant that he could help. 

“Major Lorne” said Dr Biro

“Doctor, how is he?”

“Not very good” she said, “cuts, bruises, a deep wound to his left arm. Broken ribs, dehydrated, starved, emotionally messed up, he’s been fed by a wraith too”

Dr Biro’s whole composure fell away, as tears poured down her cheeks and Evan got up and hugged her. He led her to the office, making her a cup of tea and she sipped it.

“Sorry, that was so unprofessional” she said

“Don’t worry, that was me earlier. It’s just Carson is so kind and well spoken, someone hurting him like this is shocking and unthinkable.”

“Exactly, I didn’t think a marine could understand the… Sorry I didn’t mean…”

“I understand what you are saying Dr Biro, I still blame myself for not seeing through Sargent Bates lies in the first place. We could have…”

There was a clatter from the next room, as they rushed through to see Carson trying to get out of bed.

“Dr Beckett it’s ok, you are back on Atlantis” said Dr Biro, as she tried to get him to lay back down

No, no get away” he shouted in fright, as she shook her head 

“He maybe hallucinating, try to get a hold of him Major, I need to get something.”

She rushed off, as he stepped forward his hands up 

“Carson we will not hurt you, lay down in bed. It’s Evan, you are safe I promise you.”

“Safe” sniffed Carson, wincing and he lifted his legs back in and Evan sat the bed up.

“Do you know who I am?” asked Evan, perching on the edge of the bed

“Major Lorne, second in command of Atlantis military and I don’t have a head injury.” 

“Yes of course not, though you can call me Evan, you must stay calm or they will have to restrain you.”

“Where is Kolya?”

“Rodney killed him, what happened when Kolya took you.”

He shook his head, as he shivered. 

“So cold” he murmured

Evan took a blanket from the bed next door, as he laid it over him and accidently touched his shoulder. He flinched away, as Evan tried not to feel upset. 

“Sorry Carson, do you feel warmer?”

“No, where is Rodney?”

“He will be here soon, just debriefing Dr Weir.”

Dr Weir and John looked at Rodney, staring at his hands. Tapping his finger on the chair and mumbling prime numbers under his breath.

“Rodney are you ok?” asked Dr Weir

There was no answer, as John wheeled over to him 

“Mckay, stop this” said John

“I killed him, I picked up the metal stand and beat the crap out of him. There was blood everywhere, there was so much blood.”

“You killed a killer, he deserved it” said John

“It was still a life, I killed him in a violent rage.”

If you left him alive, he would have come after Carson again and you too” said John

“I must go see Carson, it was…I can’t talk about it yet”

“Of course, just answer me one question” she said 

“Yes Elisabeth” he asked

“Did Kolya rape Carson?”

“Very likely in the condition I found him” said Rodney

She nodded, watching Rodney push John from the room in the wheelchair and sat in the chair. Taking a tissue from the drawer, she dabbed at her eyes and took a few steadying breaths.  
Carson left the next morning in a wheelchair and Rodney pushed him straight to his room. He used the life signs detector, to make sure no one met up with them.  
Carson showered, as Rodney stood in his kitchen and made him a cup of tea and found a couple of biscuits.  
The water went off, as he put the cup on the table by the bed. Minutes passed and Rodney knocked on the door, as he heard low sobbing inside.

“Carson can I come in?” he asked

There was no answer and Rodney opened the door, as he saw him wearing his boxers and leaning over the sink his breathing erratic.

“Carson, hey it’s ok you are safe now”

He tried to talk but more tears fell and Rodney stepped forward pulling him into a gentle hug. He tensed up, as he tried to pull back. 

“You know me, I won’t hurt you Carson.”

He walked him over to the bed, sat him in it and held out a cup of tea. 

“You told me a cup of tea can solve any problem, so let’s test that theory.”

Carson shook his head, sipping the tea

“I am stupid” he said

“Why do you think that?” asked Rodney

“I am too trusting, I should ave told Kolya to get stuffed. He said if I did as I was told, I would be fine.”

“We need to talk about what happened, or you will have to talk to Dr Heightmeyer.”

“I am nae talking to Dr Heightmeyer, she works for mae and it would be awkward.”

“Then talk to me Carson, I am your best friend and what you tell me won’t be repeated to anyone in detail. Just basic details to Dr Weir, I promise you.”

“While I was there, at first I tried to fight back. Kolya beat mae with a belt, tried to get mae into bed daily. I refused and would purposely insult him, so that he lost his temper and beat mae instead. The Queen visited on the second day and I was pinned against the wall, it hurt so much Rodney. It felt like everything I was, being pulled from mae. I had flashbacks of ma home and the Major’s last few conversations with mae. I wondered why, then I woke here and the Major was there.”

“Yes he was really upset when you got taken, blamed himself saying he was head officer in charge at the time and John would never have let it happen.”

“That’s just stupid thinking” said Carson, “is Bates…”

“Dead yes, there was a message on the knife saying your move Sheppherd.”

“He knew John was in a wheel chair, so Bates must have told him.”

“Carson stop trying to distract me, what happened?”

Carson sat fidgeting with the edge of the blanket and grimaced.

“I was taken to a room, as the guards stood smirking at each other. They knew what was going to happen and Kolya came in, sending them both oot. I wasn’t very brave or strong, I fell to pieces Rodney. I backed away, begged him not to do it. I am so ashamed, I was a coward.”

“You are not a coward Carson you lived, I am so proud of you for standing up to that monster.”

He took a sip of tea, nibbling on a biscuit.

“Kolya came over, stroking the hair off ma face and he backed mae into the wall. He told mae there was no escape and if I preferred him to beat mae again rather than make love to me he could. I told him he was a killer and he said…. He said…”

Carson swallowed and lay on his side, burying his head in the blankets and closing his eyes. 

“It’s ok Carson, don’t rush this. We can talk again tomorrow, what about a film?”

“Sounds good” he said, as Rodney loaded up Star Trek and he sat by him as they watched. 

Rodney looked at Carson in concern, as there was a knock at the door and he went to answer. 

“Dr Biro, yes we are just watching a film.”

“Carson just a few tests, as I sure you know and check these wounds.”

He nodded and looked back at the television, as she touched his arm and he pulled away. 

“No” he said, “no don’t touch mae please”

“Your arm needs this cream on and redressing, I must do this”

“I will, is that ok Carson?” asked Rodney

He nodded and watched Rodney apply the cream and wrap his left arm.

“I also need a blood test” said Dr Biro

He took the strap and tightened it round his right arm, then held it out to Dr Biro. She took the blood without any skin on skin contact, as she took out swabs.

I will leave these Carson, I know you can do them yourself but I need them by 8 o clock tonight.”

“I will drop them to you” said Rodney, as she nodded and left the room. 

“Back to the film” asked Rodney

“No, I want to be alone for a bit please Rodney”

“Ok, if you need me I have my radio and there is one for you.”

“Thank you” said Carson, as he left and he lay back down on the bed 

He felt the tears well up in his eyes, then drip down his cheeks and finally they wouldn’t stop. He wrapped his arms round himself, his breathing was getting harder and he realised he was having a panic attack it was a bad one. He grabbed his radio, as he pressed the button and pressed it. 

“Rodney please come quick” he mumbled as his head spun and he passed out

“Carson, Carson hey can you hear me?”

“I…I…”

“It’s Evan, Rodney has his hand in a circuit board trying to get the new ZPM working.”

“I…what…?”

“You passed out, your blood sugars were rock bottom and Dr Biro connected you to some sort of bag.”

“Rodney” he mumbled, “I must tell you what happened?” 

“It’s Evan, not Rodney” he said, sitting on the edge of the bed

“Rodney, he said he was a man who knows what he wants and takes it. He forced me to undress and get into bed, he pinned me down and restrained me by my wrists and I gave up fighting. I just submitted to him, I am a coward and I want to die.”

“No Carson, you don’t want to die.”

“If I only could, though it will kill mama. I…oh god…she must never know.”

“Of course Carson, just sleep”

He plumped up the cushions and put the covers round his shoulders.

Rodney are you coming, he thinks I am you.”

“Sit on the bed and keep him company, he is very dehydrated so he’s hallucinating. He will have nightmares, oh and don’t touch him.”

“Right” he said, switching the radio off and sitting on the bed reading a book.

Evan heard the door open, as he looked up and John wheeled in looking surprised. 

“I thought Rodney was here” he said

“ZPM needed connecting, I had a day off so I stayed.” 

“Rodney” murmured Carson

“He is fixing Atlantis again” said Evan

“Evan, I thought youse were Rodney.”

“Yes you did before too, I have been here for a few hours”

Carson nodded and closed his eyes 

“Dr Biro radioed me and asked for the swabs, have you done them?” asked John

“No pass them over” he said, as John did and they left the room and Evan turned to him.

“I will go fetch some dinner for him?”

“Good idea” said John

“Uh John, he told me he wanted to die. Well not me, he thought I was Rodney at the time and I don’t think he should be left alone.”

“You think he is suicidal”

“How would you feel Sir and he’s not trained like we are in the military?” he said

“I get your point, I won’t leave him till you get back.”

Evan left and John heard someone at the door, wrapped in a robe and pulling along an IV stand. 

“All done, thank you John” he said, turning and sitting on his chair. 

“I have some questions, I need some advice Carson. I know you are dealing with a lot, though…”

“No that sounds like a good distraction, what do youse need my help wit?”

“I am getting some tingling in my feet, is that normal?”

“It may be something or nothin John, ave youse ad recent scans.”

“I will bring them tomorrow, thanks Doc”

“You can go” he said, seeing John looking round awkwardly

“I thought I’d keep you company”

“Is it because I said I want to die, i am not going to act on it” he frowned. “Obviously I was hallucinating because of the other problems. I must have mistaken Evan for Rodney and talked. John why is Evan hanging round so much, are you ordering him too.”

“No Doc I am not, Evan is…”

There was a knock and John opened the door and Evan came in.

“I must get these to Dr Biro” said John, as he turned and left. Evan put his lunch down on the table and sat the other side of the table.

“Do you mind if I stay Doc” asked Evan

“No of course not Evan and it’s Carson, if you answer me one question.”

“Fire away Doc…I mean Carson.”

“Why are you here with me on your day off, is it guilt or pity because I don’t need that.”

“It’s not pity, that won’t help you and maybe guilt plays part of it.”

“Then what is it?” asked Carson

“I don’t think it’s the right time to tell you” he said

“Though youse will cause i need ta know” said Carson

“Yes Carson, I will if you want me to.”


	12. Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the ending

Rodney returned to the room, to hear chuckling and went in. Evan and Carson sat on the bed, looking through a photo album”

“This looks cosy” he said, coming over and holding out a box of cakes. “Miko has been baking, she cooks very well.”

Carson and Evan took one, as he put the book on the bed.

“This is my Pegasus Galaxy photo album, I know it will never be allowed out the SGC but it’s a hobby of mine. Look at this Rodney, you on Atlantis the first day and Evan’s first day here after the siege.”

“Wow it’s got some special memories” said Evan, as Carson sat back

“Sorry to kick everyone out but I am tired, see you in the morning”

“I am three doors down Carson, give me a knock if you need anything” said Evan

Thank you Evan” he said, as Rodney turned to him

“You sure you are ok Carson?”

“I will be lad, give me time.”

Rodney got to John’s door, as he knocked and the door opened. John sat in bed, reading a book and looked up. 

“Hey Mckay, how is Carson doing.”

“Surprisingly well” said Rodney, sitting down by him. “I got there and Evan and Carson were sat looking through a photo album and laughing. Carson was chuckling like nothing was wrong John, isn’t that great.”

“It is Rodney, you want to watch a film with me

“Ok John but please stop with the cripple jokes, they annoy me.”

“Why should they annoy you, it’s just my way of coping with everything.”

“They annoy me because… because I love you” blurted out Rodney and John smirked

He slid on the edge of the bed next to John, pulling him into a soft passionate kiss and then looking anxiously at him.

“Mckay, get in this bed now” he said, pulling off his shirt and looking at Rodney eagerly.

“You want to with me, really.”

“Why do you think I kissed you, after we were trapped under that rubble.”

“We were dying” he said

“No, it’s cause I love you too. My legs may be paralysed, though everything else works fine.”

“Really, wow this is…” began Rodney

“Rodney” whined John, “I don’t want a lecture I want a…”

“Stop there Colonel impatient” smirked Rodney.

He chucked his clothes to the floor, slid between the covers and John wrapped his arms round him. 

Carson had woken up again, drenched in sweat from a nightmare. He took another shower, keeping his arm dry and put on trousers and a t-shirt. He walked bare foot along the corridor, pausing before he knocked on Evan’s door. 

"Come in” said Evan, once the door had opened 

He went in and he turned round, smiling at him. 

“Hey Carson, is everything ok?”

“Uh yes, I donae wan ta be alone”

“Of course, shall we go back to yours it is bigger.”

“No I am fine here, it is somewhere I have never been before”

“It’s not as nice as your place, though it is private.”

Carson stepped forward, pulling Evan’s lips to his in a soft kiss. He stayed still, leaving Carson run a tentative hand along his cheek and down his neck.

“I am sorry” murmured Carson, “I must have misread your body language.”

“I do want to react Carson but it may be too much for you, at the moment.”

“I know you are not him, that is irrational and I will be fine.”

“Just tell me to stop, if you are uncomfortable.”

He stepped forward, running his hand through Carson’s hair slowly and he could see the panic in his eyes. Stepping back he knelt in front of him on the floor, as he looked up at Carson. 

“I have loved you for a while Carson, when I said I wanted us to be friends earlier I meant…”

“I know” he said, “though I don’t know if I can.”

“I have time Carson, maybe you should take charge. I prefer to take orders, what do you want to do?”

“I just want to sleep tonight and I think I could, next to you.”

“Ok” he said, getting up and pulling the covers down. 

He stripped off to his t-shirt and boxers and climbed in, as Carson looked awkward.

“Wear whatever is comfortable” said Evan, as Carson climbed onto the bed in his t-shirt and trousers. 

He lay in Evan’s arms, as he held him loosely being careful not to touch any skin. 

Rodney got to Carson’s room with John the next morning, to find he was gone. The bed was a mess and he looked round anxiously.

“I am sure there is a perfectly good reason, Major are you in your room” asked John on the radio. 

There was no answer, as they knocked on his door and there was muffled snoring.

“Major, are you up?”

The door slid open, as they went in to see the radio was switched off on the bedside and Evan was curled up under the covers.

“Major” said John, “we have a…”

Evan sat up slowly and he saw Carson wrapped round him sleeping peacefully.

“Uh oh busted” said Evan, as Carson stirred and looked from John to Rodney

“Morning already” he murmured, “oh crap. Listen John, this was my fault”

“He know’s Carson, I told him” smiled Evan, as he snuggled back down.

“Aye good mo leannan, then vacate the room, I am trying ta sleep.”

“See you later” said Rodney, pulling John from the room and they headed to their meeting with Dr Weir.

“All is well” said John, as he knocked before they entered the office

John and Rodney sat in the meeting, as the other heads of department left and Dr Weir came over. 

“How is Carson?” she asked

“Good actually, he wanted to sleep in longer”

“That’s funny because I popped in to see him and he wasn’t in his quarters.

“Oh he isn’t there” said Rodney, “he is being observed by the Major. It makes him feel safe, to have someone watch over him.”

“I would think military would be a big no no for him now, being that Kolya was…”

“I think it’s who he trusts here” said John, listen Elisabeth how is the DADT coming with the SGC.”

“Actually from now, it is fine as I have just signed it and sent a copy back through the wormhole to earth.”

“Great” said John, as she smirked at them both

“So you two will get together then?” she asked

“Get together, you knew” said Rodney

“Of course I did” she said, as she grinned at them

They got to breakfast, just an announcement was made that any relationship was allowed on Atlantis and would have no negative effect on them professionally. Dr Weir added that any negative behaviour towards couples, would mean instant dismissal from Atlantis.

“We could hold hands” suggested John, as they sat eating and Rodney shook his head. 

“We could but I am eating with one and typing with another, so unless I have sprouted another hand overnight that may be difficult”

“You could put your work away” said a voice, as Rodney looked up to see Evan and Carson standing there.

He held onto Evan’s arm, looking somewhat nervous but he was murmuring under his breath and got him to sit down. He rushed off, bringing him back porridge and tea. While he had the same, as he sat next to him.

“You look good Carson” said John

“I feel ok, I have a long way to go but I will get there.”

“We are all here if you need us” said John, as he crossed his legs and then gaped. “I can move my legs, how the hell did that happen?”

“Power of love” said Evan, it can heal anything.”

They all laughed, as Elisabeth looked over at them happily from the door.


End file.
